i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
