Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
