Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize