his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
