the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
