I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
