i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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