Cold hands, warm shart.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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