please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
