So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
