After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
