i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When are your genitals available?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
