I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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