I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
