I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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