I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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