I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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