you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
