I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
