I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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