Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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