You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
