It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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