it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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