I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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