I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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