id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
