She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
