yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
