It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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