No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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