Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
