it's great music for shaving your balls
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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