What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
