dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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