I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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