you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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