I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I want her autograph on my taint
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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