I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
