bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize