Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
