it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
