Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
