Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
