You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
