I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
