I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
