we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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