here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He shit in the fireplace
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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