the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
