In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
