Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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