I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
