i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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