she looked like the before picture.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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