well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize