where am i from again
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
