My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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