No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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