Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
