Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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