No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
