She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
last night I used snow as a chaser
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
