Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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