I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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